Dear Internet Movie Database,

I hate to be so blunt, but there’s something that’s been on my mind and we can’t just keep ignoring the issues.  We’ve had our fun over the years, but I really think it’s time we see other people.

It’s not me, IMDB, it’s you.  You just give and give… but lately you’ve been giving too much.  I understand that your services are provided at no-charge to me.  I understand that a website needs a little extra cash on the side to keep itself going – even if that means bringing in little advertisements on the side.  But lately we’ve grown apart.  We’ve become so distant, so out of tune.  Suddenly you think you’re larger than life.  I load you up and you’re not even ashamed of the little ads you’re hanging out with these days.

Sometimes I just want to find out who played “Russian Suit #2″ in the new Indiana Jones flick, when suddenly the cast list is overtaken by a giant “Bat Signal” floating around the page.  It’s very distracting.  Even insulting, really.  Am I not good enough for you that all the sudden you have to flaunt the Dark Knight in my face?

I thought, “hey – I’ll just refresh – maybe it was a mistake.”  I did my little F5 dance for you and began reading the plot summary when, low and behold, the words become riddled with bullet holes.  Disgusting.  Are you just trying to impress me?  It’s just slowing down my already-sluggish mail machine.

Sorry IMDB – I can’t take it anymore.  I thought you were “The One”, but I realized there are other movie databases in the WWW Sea.  Maybe one of them can make me happier.

I’m going away now and will never look back.  Please, don’t keep in touch – it’s too painful.

Your once-loyal patron,
132.48.51.167